Absolutely Mad
by lightning-lion7
Summary: Sherlock is on a case when he meets a mysterious man who seems out of this world. A Wholock Crossover about the two geniuses meeting.


Sherlock looked at the woman with the veiled face. It was obvious to him that she was not completely human, or had some disfiguration he wasn't allowed to see. The woman's companion was another woman, this one definitely human, with no covered face, but a mousy appearance. He deduced that she was married to the first woman, for a fairly long time, could fight with her hands and feet but also had a small knife hidden in her dress which had a fashion much like the Victorian period. This second woman didn't want to be here, as was obvious from her stance and constant looking about.

The first woman had introduced herself as Madame Vastra. She could also fight well with her hands but had some sort of gun on her back inside her clothes. From what Sherlock could see of her face under the veil, she had spikes on top of her head and a rough complexion texture.

Vastra continued, "We've searched for anyone who could have been kidnapping these people. I even sent Jenny here to the area where most of the kidnappings have taken place, but no luck. The people just disappear for a week then return a few days later, with no memory of what has happened."

Sherlock scoffed, "If all of the people are returned, why should I care?"

"Because Mr. Holmes," Jenny blurted out, "They don't come back human."

Sherlock leaned forward, intrigued. "Oh?"

Vastra explained, "They have yellower skin and nervously twitch. Also, when night comes, they transform into flesh-eating insect creatures."

Sherlock rolled his eyes. "You could have mentioned that earlier. I will take the case. John! We've got a case!"

John came in from the kitchen, wearing one of his ridiculous, adorable sweaters. "Oh goody. What is it this time? Murder, kidnapping, mysterious suicide, rumors of big dogs, science experiment gone wrong-"

Sherlock cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the fact that he couldn't tell to what extent John was being sarcastic. "Kidnappings and possible scientific experimentation. We'll begin tomorrow. Could you give me the names of some of the victims or where the main place of kidnapping is?"

Madame Vastra handed him a small piece of paper. She nodded, took Jenny's hand and left. Curious, Sherlock went to the window. The two women left the building and Sherlock saw that they had a town car waiting for them. A small man came out of the driver's seat and opened the backseat. He walked stiffly and his limbs seemed short and stocky. Sherlock looked on as he discreetly took off his driver's cap. His head was about the dimensions of a half sphere, brown, wrinkly, and quite similar to a potato. In fact the whole man was quite potato-esque.

Still curious, but unperturbed, Sherlock turned back to John and said, "This is going to be a very interesting case."

The next afternoon, Sherlock and John went to the address that Vastra had given, which was supposedly where most of the kidnappings were happening. It was an old park with a large shed or storage house in the middle. That is where Sherlock led John too. He carefully opened the door to see a dusty room. Before he could make many observations, a man hopped from behind the door.

"Stay away! Taken! Go back!" the man yelled. He wore a tweed jacket and had a red bowtie. His brown hair fell about his face in a playful manner, outlining his rather large chin.

Sherlock remained unfazed, "Hello, we'd like to enter."

The man smiled, slightly patronizingly. "No, don't you see. The shack is taken. We're using it."

The man pulled a short woman from behind the door. She casually saluted and nodded, slightly blushing. Sherlock didn't understand what the man meant by taken but he attempted to walk in.

The man pulled something that looked like a mechanical wand with a green light at the end pointing straight at him. He did a little skip in place and said, "Come on! You two are very cute but you need to find another snogging box!"

The man looked at his companion and she smiled, as if they shared an inside joke. Sherlock, however, responded, "We aren't here to snog. We aren't a couple. We are investigating the kidnappings that have been happening here. I'm Sherlock Holmes and this is John Watson."

The woman murmured, "Doctor, that's Sherlock Holmes! He's a relatively famous investigator of sorts."

"Well Mr. Holmes, I am the Doctor and this is my companion, Ms. Clara Oswald. Pleased to meet you."

Sherlock looked them over. "I'm sorry, I must have missed your surname. You are Doctor who?"

"Ah! He said it! I love it when they say it. It's just the Doctor. Mr. Holmes, Mr. Watson, would you like to help us catch a monster?"

John laughed, "A monster, Doctor?"

"Oh yes. That's why you're here, is it not? We were just about to go looking in the basement. That's where the monster is."

Clara added, "Actually, it's more of an alien, but the Doctor likes to call it a monster."

The Doctor sighed, "Well, yes it's a Dixophilian, but it is dangerous to the population so we must go. Here's the trapdoor."

Sherlock looked skeptically at this Doctor. Something about him wasn't quite right. The talk of aliens and monsters was a contributing factor, but he wasn't quite human. Not in the way of the people who had been kidnapped. Much more subtly. Sherlock then looked into the whole that had been uncovered.

The Doctor motioned to Sherlock. "You first boys? No? Oh well. Geronimo!"

He leapt into the whole and was soon followed by Clara. John raised an eyebrow then jumped in as well. Sherlock sighed and followed. This was quite an unusual man, but he was curious about this monster or Dixophilian. To the best of his knowledge, there were no alien interactions with Earth, although even geniuses don't know everything.

The basement was dark, dank, and the floor was a bit mushy. The Doctor beckoned Sherlock over and motioned for him to be silent. Sherlock looked around the corner that the others were crowded around. He saw a group of the yellowish people walking towards a door and they entered.

Sherlock turned to the Doctor and said, "So what's the plan?"

He had resigned himself to the fact that the Doctor knew more about this case than he did. However, the Doctor nodded to Clara and she immediately rubbed some powder and some cream on her face. The Doctor helped rub it in, slightly awkwardly. Sherlock couldn't tell what the relationship between these two was but it seemed rather complicated.

Taking a second to glance over at John, he saw that John was looking at the two of the quizzically. Of course John would find them amusing. Sherlock adjusted his scarf and asked, "I assume you're trying to blend in with them? I suggest more than just Ms. Oswald goes."

"Call me Clara."

"I suggest that I also go undercover. It will be less suspicious than one person."

The Doctor shrugged. "Decent point. Mr. Watson would you be so kind as to help Sherlock put on his makeup?"

A few minutes later, Sherlock and Clara looked quite convincingly like the kidnapped people. The Doctor smiled, "Ok. The Dixophilian has been using these humans as hosts for its children who wake up at night to feed. The sun isn't setting for an hour or two so that shouldn't be a problem. What you are going to do is distract the mother while John and I pump Xenon gas into the room. It will expel the Dixophilian children from the human hosts, returning them to normal. Then we'll have to gather all the expelled children and restrain the mother while I inject her with Xenon liquid to put her into a state of hibernation. Then I'll take Clara and the Dixophilians and be out of you humans' hair."

Sherlock frowned. "You speak of humans as if you aren't on."

"Well I'm not," the Doctor said, grinning, "But you guessed that. Timelord. Two hearts, regenerations. Talk for another day. I know you're skeptical of the aliens but get in there or we'll have a lot of awake flesh-eating monsters on our hands."

Clara motioned for Sherlock to follow her. He caught John's eye one more time before departing, unsure of what he was going to see in the nearby room. Upon entering, remembering to twitch a bit, Sherlock saw almost two-dozen people standing in front of a large insect type creature that was similar to a glow-in-the-dark beetle.

Sherlock quickly covered up his expression of shock. Until now, he hadn't believed in the slightest what the Doctor had said about aliens. He glimpsed into the corners of the room but could see no projectors or light tricks. Incredible!

He glanced at Clara who nodded. The two of them approached the group of bug-humans and joined in with them. If anyone had noticed, they didn't react. Sherlock again looked towards Clara for how they were supposed to act from here on out. Clara stared blankly ahead.

Suddenly, the mother bug seemed to communicate something to all the bugs. Sherlock couldn't understand but he looked at Clara who seemed to speak the language. Actually, it seemed as if she was hearing English, by her body language.

Clara leaned over and delicately whispered, attempting not to draw focus to them, "We're being sent out on a mission to find more people."

All of a sudden, the chatter stopped. A whirring noise came from the ceiling and Clara started to shake madly. It was a convincing act and Sherlock too began to shake and twitch. Following Clara's lead, he grabbed at his clothing, first ripping off his scarf. Clara began to rip at her dress and soon one of the sleeves came off.

The mother Dixophilian noticed them but obviously thought they were just transforming a bit early. The whirring noise got louder and so did Clara's madness and accordingly, Sherlock's. A new smell filled the air, the Xenon gas.

In response to the Xenon in the air, the other humans began to thrash about then as a whole, they keeled over and vomited out shelled fetal creatures. Then their human hosts collapsed as a whole.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sherlock saw the mother insect infuriatedly standing up. Running, he picked up his scarf and wrapped it about the insect, successfully restraining it. The Doctor and John ran up a minute later and injected the serum. Clara joined them with a box full of the fetal insects.

Sherlock was looking around at the passed out human hosts when three figures burst into the room. Coming into the light, Sherlock saw that it was Jenny, the driver, and Madam Vastra. Little to his surprise, he saw that she was some sort of reptilian being with similar features to a human.

"Ah. You've taken care of it then, Mr. Holmes?" Vastra asked. "Oh Doctor! Clara! You're here as well! Good, good. Strax, your grenades will not be necessary after all."

The potato man looked disappointed and crossed his arms. Jenny, however, was dragging the bodies to the middle of the room. The Doctor looked up in surprise.

"Of course. Right. One moment," he said dashing from the room. A moment later, Sherlock heard a loud fading in and out siren of sorts. An old type Police Box appeared out of nowhere, but Sherlock just glanced at John to see his expression, which was absolute awe. The Doctor emerged from the box and beckoned everyone inside. Surprisingly, Vastra, Strax, and Jenny were all able to fit along with the bodies and Clara. John and Sherlock hesitantly walked through the door and saw a gigantic control room of sorts with plenty of room for everyone to fit.

John muttered, "Its bigger on the inside," and Sherlock rolled his eyes. The Doctor seemed to grin as he went to the main controls. Sherlock noticed something. This machine was alive. There was a thrumming and feeling of life. Plus, the Doctor seemed to treat this machine as his child, if not friend.

"Welcome to the TARDIS! Hold on to something!" the Doctor shouted, pulling levers and twisting knobs at the control panel. This man was truly mad. Then the TARDIS began to shake and Sherlock heard the siren noise again. One of the passed out people stirred a bit and the siren stopped. The Doctor ran to the door and ordered, "Everyone grab a body or two. We need these people out of here."

Sherlock grabbed the man who had stirred and lifted him out of the TARDIS. However, he realized that this was not the basement of the shack. They were in an alley in London. After depositing the body, Sherlock went into the TARDIS to get an answer to how they had moved. However, as soon as he entered, Clara led everyone else inside and shut the door. The siren began again and Sherlock had to hold on to avoid falling over. When they stopped moving, Sherlock opened the door and saw his very own living room.

"Doctor, this is my living room. How?"

The Doctor just smiled but Vastra said, "I told him where to go."

"You're an interesting man, Mr. Holmes. Feel free to call anytime. Here is the number of the TARDIS. I'll be around. Goodbye John."

With the phone number in hand, Sherlock and John left the TARDIS and watched as the siren began and the TARDIS faded away. Ms. Hudson bustled into the room. "What was all that racket, boys? Sherlock, were you using your police siren again?"

John smiled at Sherlock expectantly. Sherlock replied, "No Ms. Hudson. I'm going to go make tea."

He walked into the kitchen, pinned the phone number on the wall, and made himself some tea, ending a very interesting day.


End file.
